


Endless time

by a_simple_person



Category: VIXX
Genre: Boys In Love, Eventual Smut, Fluff and Smut, Love, M/M, My First Fanfic, Sad and Happy, Sad with a Happy Ending
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-27
Updated: 2018-06-08
Packaged: 2019-04-28 18:12:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14454939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_simple_person/pseuds/a_simple_person
Summary: Too much time. Too many days to love the same person constantly and to suffer in a painful silence.Something is wrong, something alarm Hakyeon who decides to talk to Wonshik who decides to make things clear.Because even if the time is far, sometimes we aren't alone in feeling these kind of things.





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> OK so hi, hi and hi everyone ~ I leave this here, my first try, my first time writing in english so yeah if they're a lot of mistakes, my bad. I'm not an english-speaker but i'm actually trying my best for this, so if you have something to say or maybe correct me you can, of course - omg it's so weird. Anyway, i hope you will enjoy this and have a great time reading ~

_It was hard._

_It hurt._

 

 

The pain was poisoning his mind. Every day. Every hour, every look. It became like an incessant pain that maliciously pointed to his soul. His irises slipped on the stage one last time, offering his last smile. Taekwoon pulled away too quickly, stumbling in secret – whether it was in his mind or during that short time that no one had noticed. It hurt every time he left the hot lights – almost burning – spotlights. Whenever he no longer had the high-pitched – over-excited screams – of fans to surpass those of his own heart.

 

It hurt. And that Taekwoon couldn’t help but repeat it as a new musical creation. Sad either, but it was very real. He didn’t take a long time to change, sweat slipping down his throat and down the back of his neck. It stuck, it was salty. This feeling could become exhilarating during the training he practiced late in the day, but it could quickly become embarrassing when he finished a concert with his members.

 

But, yes... they did not seem to worry about their physical condition, they were still fogged in an endless pleasure, a growing euphoria that could not go down.

 

Taekwoon did not bother to smile, once his clothes changed he slipped to his Leader:

 

– « I'll be back late, I have an appointment. See you tonight. » And he turned on his heels as quickly as his words were thrown. In the void perhaps.

 

Nobody knew. Nobody doubted. This kind of stray cat he could be, putting his life between the stars, between the night and full alcohol in his veins. Hakyeon gave him a smile when he saw him leave, but directly focused his concentration on Jaehwann's laughter at the back of the room - which seemed to laugh at the difficulty of removing their stage clothes.

 

– « Yah! » Wonshik's voice broke the silence of his being. Taekwoon turned at the door, a foot near to leave, but the heart listened to this call. A hint of envy - a hint of hope.

 

 

_Hold me back. Tell me not to leave. Grab my arm and tell me never to go away._

 

 

\- « Pay attention to yourself. And don’t do anything stupid hyung. » The rapper puts a hand on the vocalist's shoulder before quickly removing it - perhaps burned - and smiling with a wink, as if that simple touch had electrocuted them. As if looking in the darkness of each other's pupils defined each of their thoughts. It was always hard for Taekwoon.

 

Always hard. Sometimes, like today, it ended with an unbearable emotion that embraced every vessel of his heart. It was tight, it was tight. Chains clung to his suffering and locked him up a little more in an empty cage. Never again could he escape from what he felt.

 

The older man then just nods before leaving, trying - deep inside him - to forget the fine heat that had intruded into his stomach during this simple physical contact. He quickly turned his back - taut - and put the cap he had recovered on one of the tables to cover his closed face, his cold and endless expression.

 

Thus, he quickly left the neighborhoods, fleeing in his car to meet at his usual place. Each end of concert, each performance. Each of the stressful, distressing or panicky moments that took up too much space in his thoughts, Taekwoon rejected them here. On the banks of the Seoul River, cans of beer as the only company. Just him, the water which try to tantalize him and a little bit of alcohol - but which crushed enough what he wanted to separate.

 

Pain inexhaustible.

This incredible heat that grew in each of his veins.

The desire to smile.

That drunkenness that made him lose his head - in addition to the glances, the laughter and ways he had to touch you for "goods made" of their friendship.

 

F r i e n d s h i p.

 

The brown man laughed in the wind as he had just got out of his car, while he had just gone so fast that fortunately nothing had stopped him. He had rolled across the city, clutching his fingers on the steering wheel, his hands turned white, his knuckles purple. He could have broken the craft if he had the strength - he could have.

 

 

 

 

The breeze crept into her hair, making them twirl and a puff of ease fell from his lips. It was good. This heavy silence, somewhat scary sometimes. But it was so good. The light step - tapping against the grass of a sort of mini park - Taekwoon headed for this green bench. He had almost linked a friendly relationship, almost too close with this bench and this river. One was holding him back and recovering the tears that were falling – a thousand tears - the other far away listening only to the cries of the darkness of his dreams.

 

The cries of his sobs. Long sobs.

 

It was probably two years now that he was going here with the excuse that he was seeing someone - and he did not doubt that in the curious mind of his companions that they should develop ideas flourishing on a any romantic relationship with a woman; which was wrong since he went to a place - alone - to recharge the incessantly throbbing flow of his mind. For two years he had been sitting in this same place, crossing his legs, bringing to his lips a somewhat bitter liquid. For these two years alone he had repeated the reason for why he went here - sometimes shouted; screaming.

 

 

Wonshik.

 

_W o n s h i k._

 

 

This man was the only reason. Not that he wanted to avoid the rest of the group - _only him._

 

Because there was only him who entered the spirit of the oldest. It was only his eyes that gave this incredible effect - here - in the deep cellar of his ribcage. At first it was just an attractive feeling that Taekwoon felt. One of those unknown happiness, the ones that took the breath away. He didn’t know. - truly not. He did not know he was going to have palpitations coming from nowhere. Unmotivated smiles - or maybe so. He did not know that the more the days were going to pass, the more his eyes would anchor - differently this time - in those of Wonshik. Everything had gone so fast in him. It was blurry at first, but a choking sound was like a click. An alarm bell had invaded his being and every time the rapper came into a room, Taekwoon could feel his own soul vibrate.

 

Rationally he had simply said it was a pass. A story of a day, a week, a month that never lasted - it was impossible with their work, their company. For him it was only a chemical problem that was going to be solved - like a pathology that would heal alone. But nothing was rational there. Nothing was true.

 

A sigh slips into the shadows, he lets himself go against the bench while staring at the river. So sweet, so far from him. She was charming him, his tiny waves running through the flow of his movements. - second sigh. So far, so beautiful. She had something that looked like him.

 

Alone.

So surrounded, but so alone.

 

_Fuck._

 

 

With a swipe of a finger he opens a can of beer in a snap. The noise makes him almost startle as the air seems taciturn tonight. No creaky tree noise, no leaf flying close to the ground, no grass twitching. Simply Taekwoon on a bench, alcohol slipping through his veins with every sip he takes. Morose - almost squeaked, he is breathing in pain, his heart pinching fiercely. _It hurt._

 

The tearing didn’t want to withdraw even though his thoughts were traveling somewhere else. He always came back to earth. Taekwoon - once finished his first can - grabbed a second drink with a snarling handle, opening it with force before pouring once more - by big sip - the liquid in the entirety.

 

If he had to destroy everything that was going on inside him he preferred to do it with the foggy mind, the vague look and the trembling hands - maybe because he thought he could put his tears on the fact that he was drunk. So that night, he cried again. His tears were added to thousands of others who had added themselves to others in an endless cycle for two years. However, he didn’t dare to groan, did not dare to realize himself of his physical and moral state. The denial was more restful than the truth, he was repeated to himself. Denial hurts less than what is evident – obvious.

 

And. And. And then there was that pathetic emotion that took him every night like this. The singer couldn’t help but say that a man – weak in his feelings – like him looked really cliché and pathetic to shred his health for a story of heart, for a story that should have been stop as quickly started. He felt so pitiful and didn’t need other to accentuate that feeling. No need for a pat on the shoulder with one « it will be okay » to accentuate this bullshit. He felt just pathetic – a part-time drunkard who became pathetic one night out of three because of a distant love that he couldn’t catch.

 

Taekwoon stayed that way until late at night or in the morning. He didn’t watch the hour go by, nor the stars pass over his head. The Great bear may have smiled, but he had a painful ache that crushed her soul.

 

He had too much love for Wonshik, a totally idiotic love - _totally impossible._

 

In spite of that he returned to the dormitory, his heart heavy, totally - or partially - drunk to go lock himself in his room and fall on his bed. A sob almost surprised him, but he swallowed it all, one last time before closing his eyes -

 

 

because tomorrow he had to act normally.


	2. two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi guys, here we go for an another chapter, i'm so excited. I forgot to mention that in here Taek is brownhaired and Wonshik is blond. Yeah so if ( one more time lmao ) you have something to say about my grammar or another idk you can, i just hope you guys can read without barrier and that you will enjoy   
> Thank you ~

— « Taekwoon-ah wake up. »

 

 

          A voice creeps into a dream that is not one. This discreet nightmare remains in him and traps him in his sleep. This voice comes out of anywhere. He turns, trees appearing before his eyes like hallucinations. He turns a second time - his eyes searching to whom belonged this distant but yet known voice. Taekwoon knew who he was, but his name couldn’t be said anymore. Nets held his words, held the movements of his feet.

 

Stuck - he started to panic and look for a way to get rid of his ties. Creepers that invaded and squeezed his arms to hold them, threads that burned his skin as they wrapped around him. Every beat of his heart indicated that this situation was anxious and even his body didn’t move a centimeter into the bed - remaining totally cold and devoid of life. He didn’t seem to live anymore and he was dying in his reverie.

 

— « Wake up Woon-ah. » The voice insists, becomes softer. Comforting and links seem to break under the intonation. The brunette is finally breathing, but with difficulty. The trees seem to disappear, but the nets continue to hold him back in this state where his panic and anguish turn into _frightening._

 

He’s totally afraid, he can’t move and that voice is humming in his blood.

 

 

_Please, stop._

 

 

— « Taekwoon! » Wonshik loses patience and shakes the lethargic body with force - but keeping a certain softness - then the oldest finally opened his eyes. He was totally foggy, but he straightened up quickly, hastily removing the hand that was still holding his shoulder and threw - the cold, rocky voice:

 

— « I'm awake, you can leave. »

 

 

Wonshik looked totally taken aback - somewhat lost from Taekwoon's closed face - but kept a low smile on his face as he watched him leave the bathroom, shut himself up. The blonde ran a hand through his hair, squeezing it. He didn’t understand this reaction - if it was really one - the older one was a rebus he still could not finish even after so many years. He pinched his lip and left the room just as he heard the shower running.

 

 

Taekwoon was caught off guard. Like a cat on the he-alive he had taken out the claws before taking refuge in the bathroom. At the time he hadn’t thought about the tone he had to use to talk to the youngest. He hadn’t thought he should have a soft, normal voice. His heart had just missed several beats when he came out of this nightmare and saw Wonshik's face a lot - far too close to him. And his hand resting on his body. _H_ _is_ hand. His fine fingers that never ended so long they were and the gracious sensation of having it close to him. Taekwoon almost wanted to grab that neck and bring it to him.

 

He would have done well. Catch his hair and pull it, take his body against his and recover from that damn pain he dreaded at each awakening. He could have been weak today. Take his hand, his fingers and intermingle with his while telling him to stay with him. He could have done so much that the brunette lost his simple thought. He was totally crazy.

 

_Crazy of him._

 

The icy water brought him back to him. He stared - for a long time - at the shower screen before forcing himself to wash - the water still cold to calm the growing heat in his body. He sighed deeply - sadly - closing his eyes.

 

 

 

          While he was washing, the others had already gathered in the kitchen. Hyuk ate the ramen - which Hakyeon had finely prepared in the morning - watching a video on his cell while the Leader spoke with Hongbin and Jaehwan.

 

— «  you don’t find that sometimes Taekwoon-hyung is distant? » Jaehwan asked first to change the conversation, touching the work plan.

 

Hongbin nodded discreetly, starting to think about it while the older man replied:

 

— « Mh. And he goes out more and more often to this famous meeting. I keep telling myself that ... » He closed his mouth, weighing his words before pronouncing them. « ... maybe something is happening. I can’t tell if it's his usual temperament or if he's lying using his too common temper to hide from us. "

 

Hyuk looked up from his video and began to listen to the oldest talk of the vocalist. Nothing was surprising in this conversation, members tended to worry about anything that seemed distorted or out of the ordinary.

 

— « I think there is something behind all this and it’s disturbing. » Adds the second singer, leaning against Hongbin.

 

Hakyeon's gaze was lost for a moment. He didn’t know how to handle this situation without rushing Taekwoon. He didn’t want him to end up totally shut up, the singer to reject him saying he's too curious to want to know things about his private life - and yet he felt legitimate to know; to know everything about his colleague, member and above all friend. He came out of his dreams once Wonshik had left the room of the second oldest. It had a completely blurred air that caught the eye of the Leader. Then the rapper was gone - gone in his own room.

 

Something was really happening. He could read it on the rapper's face. He could feel it without being able to put words on it all. It was both frustrating for him and at the same time it made him panic internally - he was already beginning to imagine the worst and fear was skyrocketing in his heart. He felt the need to clarify what was happening while remaining silent. His goal was not to dig a wedge between them and Taekwoon, but to understand.

 

— « Hyung? » Hongbin called, wringing his hand in front of the leader's irises, who instantly returned to him with a sigh:

 

— « We keep that aside I'll see with Wonshik. »

 

Quickly he left the kitchen to join the blond's room. It was certain. Hakyeon had this sure feeling that what was happening with Taekwoon wasn’t a coincidence and there was luggage behind. Since he knew each other he had never seen other members ask himself questions about how to act - not to mention the fact that the vocalist often came back late in the evening or early in the morning of this famous meeting and that was too much fishy to be forgotten.

 

 

 

          The door opened in a sharp but fine rustle and closed almost exactly. The room was awash with darkness, the shutters still closed - only a small, reddish nightlight on the floor that helped Hakyeon to the bed where the rapper's silhouette lay. At first, he kept this constant silence and even paid attention to his own thoughts so that they didn’t make too much noise. He was uncertain where he was walking and on what, surely sensing laptop wires and sheet of papers slipping under his feet, but he walked forward sweetly. As always, he didn’t want to brutalize people when he interfered in rooms - but he knew very well that Wonshik had guessed it was him, seeing the look they had halfway thrown at earlier. So he began by paying close attention to what he was going to say, sitting on the other side of the bed looking at the back of the youngest :

 

— « I don’t know why but I feel like you know something. »

 

The sentence seemed to echo between the four walls and even if he paid attention to his words the Leader couldn’t hold his frankness either. Because he wasn’t fooled and understood that besides knowing something Wonshik was straining - his muscles freezing - at the mere mention.

 

Indeed. Wonshik knew things - many things. He, too, had been in denial at first, and blindly didn’t see what was going on around him. The evidence was brutal when he noted a change in Taekwoon's - though unseen - attitude. It was so sporadic that he didn’t know which way to dance or how to really take it and for several months he was convinced that it was certainly nothing serious since his Hyung continued to act - almost - normally . He left the Leader's words in suspense in his mind before answering them, mocking:

 

— « And I'm sure you understand that the situation is strange as the behavior of Taekwoon-hyung. »

 

His gaze landed on the very dimly lit ground. Yes, Hakyeon had seen. He knew it. But he had seen it for far too long. He had seen with his own eyes what was going on without ever really understanding the reason for these changes. The older man inhaled at length, a slight trembling in his voice before saying, his voice rough this time:

 

— « Wonshik-ah you have to tell me what's going on. We are worried. »

 

How to say. How to explain this kind of thing. How to put words to what he saw for over a year. How dare to put expressions on facts that he suffered until late at night? The rapper lost himself in his internal issues, playing with his fingers nervously - being nervous was not in his habit. This time his hands came back to tighten his hair skillfully. A lippe was bitten and he whispered:

 

— « Taekwoon-hyung, when he says he has an appointment, it's wrong. » He begins, raising his head to turn around and see - through the red light - Hakyeon's apprehensive and tense face. « I ended up discovering it one night, over a year ago, following him. I was ... I was too curious to know who this person was so important for him to come back late at night or in the morning. So I just followed him. » A yellow laugh passed the barrier of his lips. It sounded so ... He quickly calmed himself, catching his eyes in the piercing gaze of the other. « I found him sitting on a bench, near the river to drink. At least at first, then I realized that it wasn’t just drinking, but crying. Sometimes he screams. Sometimes he swears. Sometimes he just stays silent and at other times he doesn’t drink at all and just sits in the grass. »

 

The pain he felt on the Leader's face also gripped his heart and he remembered the same feeling he had felt the first time he discovered the vocalist's late hobby. It had more than hurt him. It was indescribable. Horrible. He had the impression of losing a piece of his soul with every sob he heard-vaguely-echoing through the night. Then he could imagine that Hakyeon's fragility shook off the news - it broke, perhaps, but Wonshik did not see a tear yet; simply horror, fear, and power anxiety.

 

 

_He felt the same._

 

 

Although a little - _enormously_ \- stronger. Seeing Taekwoon in this state was annihilating him and he could do nothing but look, listen to the old man's suffering without knowing the reasons - or perhaps only unconsciously.

 

Hakyeon broke the silence :

 

— « It's been a while you know and you haven’t thought to tell us about it? And Taekwoonie?»

 

— « If I tell you about it, the situation would have become embarrassing for us and for him. Then, if I didn’t talk to him, it's because I know very well that he's going to run away from the conversation, get upset or totally ignore me. »

 

The singer began to feel a fear crossing his veins and his fingers clutched between them trembling. Hakyeon was totally stuck between helplessness and shock. Wonshik moved to the bed and sat down beside him, putting a hand on his shoulder, squeezing it warmly.

 

— « I'll take care of it. » He murmured, the old man's glance anchoring in his with hope.

 

— « How do you intend to do? He doesn’t know that you know and the distance he manages to put between us seems to continue growing day by day. »

 

The rapper shrugged. This distance was breakable. This coldness was suppressible. He trusted his abilities. He knew he could finish this puzzle, stick it and never destroy it again. A conviction animated his own hope because Wonshik knew he was the only one who could really do something. That single emotion - that one truth - gave him a strength he suspected to have disappeared.

 

 

 

_confess the shameful._

_delete dreams and fantasies._

 

 

— « I have my idea. »


	3. Y si fuera ella

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so, ok  
> Hi ! I'm back with another chapter, i have to apologies because this story can take her time to go higher so yeah it's a little low, but my goal was and is always to write feelings in there however i hope you like it ! ( sorry for the many faults ;; )  
> Thank you a lot for the kudos and comments, it mean a lot to me, so yeah thanks a lot ~ 
> 
> This chapter is also important because I wrote while listening to "Y si fuera ella", in loop for several days. Can I say that I created a little contrast between Taek's character and how I feel when I see Jonghyun singing ? thanks again ! love !

          The first notes made the fans shudder. A heavy silence filled the scene; behind the scenes. In the midst of all this, stood - in constant darkness - Leo. He squeezed his microphone loudly while the melody was breathtaking to all that was human around him. For this special stage they all decided to sing a song of their choice and make a cover and Leo was the last to offer his performance. He closed his eyes for a long time, inhaling before bringing the microphone to his mouth, his voice coming out like a thread of fresh water.

 

 

_Hyeya mianhadan mareun malya unjenga ajoo mun geuddae_

_majimakyeh majimakeh haji anheurae  
Geuraeya jigeum ee apeun shigan do heutnal joheun choougeera _

_ooseumyuh malhago isseul oori-il teneega mariya_

 

_( Hyeya won’t you say sorry, sometime way later in the futur_

_At the end of the end_

_Then we can laught as we talk, about this painful time right now_

_Later on as a good memory_

 

_Ohh – ohh )_

 

 

          He had chosen JongHyun's song - Y si Fuera Ella. His pain was so present that he didn’t know how to get it out of his mind. He wanted to tear his voice tonight. He wanted to scream a nameless sadness. He wanted to sing like an artist doing his art on stage. Taekwoon especially wanted to express the tingling he felt every time he had to act normally alongside Wonshik - unbearable tingling.

 

His voice turned into a white crystal - invincible - and on stage nothing was able to distract him. He put there every taste of the blood which circulated in his palpitating heart. He put all his soul into it, so that each word pronounced agrees with the melody. The pale light from the spotlight came on and pointed directly at his figure - straight with a stare - and the fans screamed and called his name. It was so good. So bad.

 

Nevertheless, he continued his song, leaving the verses and his voice spread throughout the concert hall. He took the whole place. He imposed himself. Nothing surprising since he was one of the group's vocalists, but tonight. Tonight. Taekwoon haunted everyone who stood in front of him or behind him. The fans surely felt the rebounds of his being and he continued, his breath adjusting to each of the notes and the higher he climbed, the more the chorus was announced. With one hand the brown gripped his white fireplace - at the place of his heart - and squeezed hard. What he sang was still reaching him. What he sang was always a reflection - sometimes in pieces - but a reflection of himself.

 

His vocal chords exploded. He sang - but we could also hear his screams.

 

_Iri aewonhajana_

_Ahh ahh -_

 

_( And so I’m begging you_

_Ahh Ahh - )_

 

 

_Hyeya, oejji ddeonaryeoneun geoya_

_Utneun geu nuneuro annyoungiran_

_Janinhan maleun nalreul jukigo sumi mumchweo_

_Haengbokhagae haejudeon geu melodyga_

_Ajik neomu chanranhada_

_Jebal beoriji ma beoriji ma_

_Salgo shipji ana eojjihana_

_Neo eopneun nal oejjihana_

_Aye moreun chae sal geoseul_

_Eereokhae michidorok seulpeul juriya_

 

( Hyeya, Why are you trying to leave ?

As you smile through your eyes

You kill me with the cruel word of goodbye, my breath stops

The melody that made us happy

is still shining too much

Please, don’t throw me away, don’t throw me away

I don’t want to live, what I am suppose to do ?

What I am suppose to do without you ?

I should have just lived without knowing you

How was I to know I’d go crazy from sadness like this )

 

 

 

 

 

          If her tears could pass over his concentration, they would do it. However, nothing could detach him from his moment when his chords rose crescendo. Taekwoon still clutched his shirt, his nails imprinted on his skin as he gave everything he had. He showed everyone who could hear him that he was able - besides singing - to interpret words. Without knowing that everything made sense to him.

 

Suddenly he advanced in front of him, approaching the fans and positioning himself over a hatch. Everything was calculated to the millimeter. Everything was planned and the song continued to beat a crazy pace, accompanying marvelously well with Taekwoon. So for once his gaze turned away from his fans to look up, his vocal cords exposed in the length of his neck - he wasn’t pretending. He had never pretended. The fans knew it. They listened and then applauded as he climbed higher and higher.

 

Then, when he reached the end of the song, everyone got up in the room - everyone was hanging on the lips of the vocalist; Meanwhile. The loose hand of his garment was lost to dance gracefully before him so much he was charmed by what he was doing.

 

 

_Hyeya, nareul ddeonaryeoneun geoya_

_Annyoungiran geureun janinhan insappunieotdeon_

_Neoreul wonmanghago ddo wonmanghagaetji_

_hyeya, jebal gaji mara hyeya_

 

 

_(Hyeya, you’re trying to leave me_

_For saying farwell with just that cruel goodbye_

_I’ll hate you and hate you again_

_hyeya, please don’t leave me hyeya )_

 

 

          Arms encircled him - brutally - and fingers clinging to his chest. Taekwoon doesn’t feel in danger. Everything was planned. In the song. In the scene and this little theatrical episode. Hakyeon was surely standing behind him, for the end of the melody - to accentuate that blooming pain that the vocalist had just thrown at his audience. Then, the hatch lowered when the lights went out at the last note. In the dark, he let himself be sighed - breathless. He had given everything of himself.

 

– « You can let me go Hyung » He murmurs, sweat slipping down his neck - staining his shirt - and on his temples.

 

Silence invades the trapdoor. Taekwoon feels his arms become stronger against him and the torso of his Leader sticks a little more to him. He frowns a little before finally looking down and paying attention to the man who was holding him. At first he thought he hadn’t really looked too concentrated in his musical interpretation, but now that he had the look and the spirit in place he slipped his irises on the tied hands around his belly. Soft - they intertwine - fine fingers. Long. Much too long. A white skin that made these hands far too sexy.

 

 

His heart is racing. Gets angry.

 

And he understands. He understands that he did not pay as much attention to what was happening as he thought. He understands that whoever was holding him was certainly not the Leader of the group but someone else. Someone who was whispering against his ear, who had his hair caressing his own. Someone who had a muscular strength much more conspicuous than that of the oldest of the group. Taekwoon does not take long to break out of the embrace and run away. Anger not taking on his fear and anguish - which astonished him himself.

 

– « Taekwoon-hyung wait! » Calls Wonshik's deep voice.

 

But the oldest hears nothing. His ears are simply buzzing. In a brutal movement he removes his microphone and scales it on the first table he sees in the darkness. He walks, not knowing how he does to distinguish the fine patches of brightness in this almost complete darkness - but he walks; almost run. However, the rapper catches him as fast as he can, catching him by the arm to make him waltz - they face each other. The irises shine in the darkness, but they are so showy that Wonshik would almost give a rage color redness in the pupils of his elder.

 

– « Do you hate me that much Leo? »

 

_Leo._

 

The brunet laughs - falsely - withdrawing the other's hand from an urgent setback. He had said Leo. _Leo._ Taekwoon didn’t exist anymore, only Leo. It hurts him. Taekwoon had become so used to the refined feeling of Wonshik's lips pronouncing only his first name. it had become familiar to his ears - reassuring. So he no longer felt like this colleague, but a little more this friend - even if the word friend was only one way, not the other. So when the youngest started using his stage name, a twinge in his heart quickly informed him that he did not like it.

 

Lights come on, the staff members arrive to take care of the vocalist and the two men continue to look at each other in a gravity where the tension animates them.

 

– « Tell the others that I'm going directly to the training room. » Says the older man, leaving without waiting for an answer - his back facing Wonshik's decomposed face.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

          – « So ? » The Leader asks as Wonshik returns - hands in his pockets and whitish complexion.

 

He makes a dark _"no"_ of the head and pinches his lip in a mixture of spite and anger.

 

– « Aishh. » The man sighs, sitting in a chair. They were both in the lodge, the other members were traveling behind the scenes, slipping to see the fans and signing autographs and they still had to deal with this Taekwoon problem. The rapper runs a hand almost shaking in the hair and pulls his blond locks growling and swearing.

 

– « I have the impression that the more I take a step towards him, the more he moves back ten. The more I look at him, the further he goes. The closer I am to him, the more he disappears. He flees me like the plague with a kind of anger on his face. » He pursues. « He's starting to get on my nerves. »

 

Hakyeon doesn’t know how to react. Shared between the desire to push them towards each other so that everything is arranged and let the rapper take care of this case. He looks at the void and sits on the edge of the table - his feet beating the air. For a dozen days the two men spent a lot of time talking about the vocalist. They would go out sometimes - not to worry the rest of the group - to find solutions to Taekwoon's night outings, but also to that deep moral pain he seemed to be fond of. Then, one evening the oldest had learned - thanks to a few glasses of alcohol - that Wonshik felt certain things for his hyung.

 

Some things. Hakyeon had been meditating on this for many hours before finally making links and connections with Wonshik's deeds - which said a lot now that he understood. And he began to wonder. To question again and again. How could two souls, two beings, turn around without realizing that one existed near the other? How was it that the two were so blind to not take the first step? He couldn’t blame them either, it was only recently that he knew about Wonshik. He, too, had seen nothing coming - he, too, was blind to the feelings of his members. His heart sank to this simple thought. He may not have been present enough - enough imposed - to take care of his two members.

 

He inhaled a good breath of oxygen. As a leader sometimes he had to force things. He didn’t know how tomorrow, next week or next month would become. So he took the chains in hand and decided - on a whim still thought - to give a soul to another. Forcing two humans to kiss each other in the right way.

 

 

          A flash seemed to pass through the barriers of his irises, Wonshik had glimpsed at Taekwoon this red color shine, but at Hakyeon the red color had something softer. Despite the anger of one, the rapper discovered the ambition of another. The leader's eyes shone with a thousand candles and the expression of his face was as determined as he was on stage. He got up from a weak leap of his table and came to stand in front of the youngest, his eyes now laughing.

 

 

– « Ok, I have an idea too. » He reveals, a thin smile slipping on the corner of his slips.


	4. badum

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello guys ! back with another chapter ~ things are getting better !  
> I try to work with the emotions and the kind of selfishness that can be felt when you are in the situation of Taek, I find it pleasant to describe all these ways of thinking, i hope you can like it too !  
> Don't hesitate to comment if you have things to tell, details to know etc !
> 
> love u and thanks ~

          The hard sighs of all the members were heard. It made echoes – almost painful – throughout the room. The creaking of the shoes on the floor of the room. The sound of clothes rubbing and hitting the wind. This urgency almost too present in each of the muscles of their bodies. In a harmony - the chaos was yet present - we could hear them breathing noisily, always focused on the dance steps that they repeated an umpteenth time in the day.

 

Fatigue made them moan and when the music went out they all headed for their water bottle. Sometimes they’re so exhausted that their legs were shaking – it hurt. At other times they didn’t have the strength to sneer or tease - or they did it in total silence. They often finished late in the evening and the Leader was busy bringing his members to a restaurant to relax. Sometimes Hongbin and Sanghyuk would bring back instant noodles and cold drinks or ice cream. So they landed in the middle of the training room to calm their pulse and talk about various topics.

 

However, this time Hakyeon decided to change the rules. To break them in a few ways. He no longer had the patience to look at them from a distance without saying anything. He simply had to act – with the help of Wonshik – so that the group atmosphere was not so stressed. Even though it was not entirely the fault of Taekwoon's behavior, something seemed to affect all the members – and Hakyeon had this inexhaustible fear; the one that his group separates. So he glanced at the vocalist who had sat aloof – headphones in his ears – as they talked to each other about upcoming shows and upcoming TV appearances. The leader nibbled on his lip.

 

– « Jaehwan, Hongbin and Hyuk let's go. Take your business quickly, I'll take you somewhere. » He announces, standing up discreetly, his iris slipping into the rapper's eyes in a common accord.

 

The three members do not think. The older man's tone is in a hurry - they can not say no. In synchronization they get up without trying to make too much noise, taking bags and bottle of water before leaving the room - muttering to each of the "Something is happening".

 

– « Take us back Taekwoon, I'm counting on you Wonshik. » His voice is sweet - maternal - and despite the exhausted air that was painted on Leader's face, we could see that growing energy - that almost sure hope. Wonshik offered him a certain smile before slapping him on the shoulder to let him go.

 

 

Tonight he was going to make that idiot singer react.

He wanted to see his smile again. Laughing in his black pupils.

With a simple ticket gone, tonight he wouldn’t go back.

 

 

          Taekwoon – on his side – heard nothing and saw nothing. Locked in his world, he let himself be carried away by the steady pace of his heartbeat. He was calming down the dances he had perfected today. His breathing was not painful – as in his dark evenings – but soothed by this adrenaline. The one he felt when he was carried away by melodies and his legs moved without any signal from his mind. He was born to sing and dance. Born to live on stage.

 

He paid no attention to anything around him. So he didn’t even notice the absence of the other members as his eyes were automatically closed when he sat apart. The brunette was so trapped in a cloudy lifestyle that he drowned in a constant blur and didn’t even feel the presence of others.

 

– « Hey » A hand pats his thigh and the vocalist out of his thoughts falling into the eyes of the rapper when his eyelids open.

 

His blood is ice-cold. He flees the eye contact and looks for others. Internal panic – no one is there anymore. Internal sigh – he realizes things this time. Taekwoon tries not to show the frown of his eyebrows and stands up – trying the natural air.

 

– « The others are gone? » He asks - the voice slightly shaking in his nervousness.

Wonshik stared at him for a long moment, but he didn’t move a single millimeter. Planted in front of the older one he was facing him completely and his face clearly meant he didn’t care about others. The youngest only looked at the brunette. He saw only him. Sitting in his space - sitting like that damn bench near the river. This simple idea makes him want to fight and tear this melancholy in the heart of his Hyung. If he could replace it, he would replace it with something warmer and more comforting - something that belonged to him.

 

– « It would be wise, as long as we are both, that we speak Taekwoon. » The blonde remains firm in the intonation of his voice, but a gentleness continues to emanate from his being. He doesn’t want to rush him - so opt for the tender way.

 

– «  There is nothing to say. » Taekwoon sighs, his shoulders rising nonchalantly with a facial expression totally identical to this external coldness. Inwardly he was afraid, he just wanted to run away.

 

The blonde rolls his eyes, sighs in turn and approaches the vocalist. So, this one could not escape, it would be much simpler to retain it. This time Wonshik didn’t want to see him leave. This time he was not allowed.

 

– « You avoid me, get upset, glances at me in a black that makes the darkness jealous and has nothing to say? Even the rest of the group saw how you act. »

 

The situation started to become heavy and heavy. A palpable tension could be felt between the two bodies of young men. Their auras were mixing. Despite the imminent explosion, the older man seemed to lose his head completely. He was falling into a bottomless void and his panic was turning into suffocating anguish. So he did not answer, avoiding that look, avoiding this disappointment. But it kindled a little more anger - which had been growing for several days - the youngest. Suddenly he gripped the chin of the brown, inserting his irises in his own without being able to dodge it.

 

– « You make things worse when you don’t answer. » Wonshik whispers, squeaky teeth. « I wanted to be gentle with you. Really. But you never make things easy when you go into endless silence. It's frustrating. Fucking frustrating. » He pauses, biting one of his lips as he leans over the brown man's face. Near - closer and closer.

 

Taekwoon flutters for a moment, swallowing in silence. He wanted to backtrack. Back to that time when he did not have those stars in his stomach yet. This time when he had nothing in him that made him capsize. At the time he wasn’t looking at the youngest of the way he wanted to look at it now. He himself didn’t know how his attitude had changed so much in those few years. He had gone from a close friend of Wonshik to one who really wanted to be close to him. Close to the point that could have shamed him. Make him blush. At first he had cleaned up all that. He cashed for a while, but it was far too difficult to hold back a constant desire for someone.

 

 

Then came the denial.

 

 

– «  There is nothing to say. «  The brown becomes much colder than before. His whole body stretches and recedes to remove this sudden proximity between them. He looks away - forces himself to turn him away. Then pushes Wonshik to get up. « I'm going home. »

 

 

Between them it was like an avalanche of tornadoes.

They rolled on the ground, but never smashed.

They could destroy everything in their path, but with difficulty they gathered together..

 

 

 

The blonde felt a wave of rage taking his guts. It was so much Taekwoon. This way of taking to one’s heels. This fucking way of locking each of her emotions while Wonshik knew very well that inside he was seething. Just like him. They were bubbling like fire whores – crazy. He doesn’t even answer and, from one to two strides, took the vocalist by the collar of his t-shirt to stick it against the first wall he found in his field of vision.

 

The crack of the shock surprised the oldest who tried to detach himself. He found himself between the rapper's body and the hardness of the stone behind him.

 

– « You are more expressive when you are in front of your river, sitting on this damn bench. » Affirmed Wonshik, sliding his free hand to the wall to lean on as he moved closer to the other's face to continue. « You will do me the honor to open this magnificent mouth to speak and tell me everything you have to say to me. I'm losing patience, do not make me force Taekwoon. »

 

Nervous or prey to a total panic – readable in the brown of his irises – Taekwoon tries to focus not to lose balance. So easy to think. Even to believe. But the simple fact was that. That. That. That shit. He had no longer any guiding thread to his thoughts and he was bogged down in the words of the youngest. He couldn’t even move and kept pummeling his lower lip. He clenched his fists, his breathing becoming heavier. So. So Wonshik knew. He knew about "appointments". Since when and why? Questions overwhelmed him. Unsteady, he leaned against the wall to breathe. Anguish was part of his heart, his veins and his blood was surely hard to move. He was even sure his face was already pale - much more than usual.

 

In fact, it was as surprising as it wasn’t. He knew very well that his nocturnal activities were going to be suspected. He had even thought several times to look in his rearview mirror to see if anyone was following him. Yet Taekwoon had never seen the blonde follow him or park behind him. He knew. He doubted. He especially knew that one day the truth would surely break out and at that moment he had told himself that he was just going to confess and leave. But he didn’t think the situation would turn out that way. Until being alone with Wonshik in the training room to be questioned by him.

 

Denial was perhaps no longer necessary. However, he couldn’t help saying that it wasn’t fair for him to say what he thinks. That it wasn’t fair that his soul broke for the umpteenth time for a man who maybe had nothing to do with his feelings.

 

He doubted. He almost begged Wonshik with his eyes to stop this ordeal. So without really knowing how to react he took the first option that came to his mind and got angry.

 

– « I have nothing to tell you. So now just leave me in peace Wonshik. And what I do outside of our group life has nothing to do with you. And it will never have anything to do with you »

 

          His words were like sharp knives that sank one by one in the mind of the youngest. His eyes narrowed dangerously, Taekwoon hurled into a muddy path. Even if it hurt Wonshik. 'It will never have anything to do with you.' It was really hurting him and it was looping in the roads of his mind. But the blond knew very well – since the time – how the vocalist reacted to get out of the situation that destabilized him. Wonshik bit his lip as he let go of Taekwoon's shirt. A tiger seemed to wake up in a long sleep. A fierce animal locked his dilated pupils in those fleeing from the oldest. His hand rested on his chest and he pushed him one more against the hardness -- cold -- of the wall before quickly let his fingers take a path to his collarbones, shoulder and then he finally chopped his chin between his fingers to force him to look at him.

 

At that moment the only thing the rapper thought was: Do not look anywhere else, just look at me. Breathe, shake just for me.

 

He inhaled for a long time bringing his face much closer - a few centimeters separating their faces - without refraining from looking at every detail of the singer's skin. Then, in a whisper - as their lips became more and more loving - he threw out:

 

– « Everything is connected to me. You cry for me. You only look at me. » He calculates his words and fixes the redness of the older's lippes. « That lip you bites because of me. I am the center of your attention. Is not it ? » His body is finally hurrying against the other. The movement is gracious – animal – and the clashing friction makes Taekwoon squirm.

 

– « Stop that. » The vocalist began to shake off the grip. Simply, his hands and the whole of his body had just lost all energy - or else it was replacing another. He winced in dismay.

 

However, Wonshik did not listen. He saw only Taekwoon's lips moving in front of him. The urge to taste them invaded his mind. He couldn’t even think what to say what to do. At first he had only the imagination of a kiss. He really wanted to know how their lips could marry and how the singer's moans could stoke the warmth in the lower part of his belly. Of course it was also a long time since he too had that kind of desire regarding one of the oldest of the group. Wonshik kept this secret for himself while waiting for an opportunity to come to him. VIXX LR was one of the reasons, one of his plans. However nothing had been further than fan-service and a close friendship. Then he discovered Taekwoon's melancholy fondness and nocturnal outings. Not that he was too confident of himself, but the rapper knew that the vocalist felt exactly what he was feeling.

 

Then, seeing Taekwoon bite one more timehis lips with nervousness – that he could feel through their stuck bodies – Wonshik took action and did not put any barriers.

 

He kissed him.


	5. five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello guys, sorry for the time i've take for this chapter ( exams etc u know ;; ) but i'm back and here the following of the kiss ~ Thank you all for the kudos and hits and everything, love ya !

  
         Two worlds collided.

         Sparks could make the space shine.

         Thousands of starry fireflies.

 

Their lips joined naturally. Those of Wonshik pressing those of Taekwoon with a growing desire. He could quickly lose patience in this kind of moment. Especially since he knew very well that he could have simply restrained himself and let things be done simply. Now he had nothing to lose. Maybe to win. And letting time flow before him wasn’t something of his temperament. He wanted. He was taking.

 

Taekwoon felt trapped in a cage where the rapper was the animal and his bait ready to be eaten. When he felt the upper lump of the youngest imprison his inferior he couldn’t hold back a weak sigh despite his hands trying to detach himself from this force. To detach from the hope that was evolving progressively in his heart. Because yes. He wanted Wonshik to kiss him, he wanted him to nibble at his soul. Yet an unstable fear continued to cling to him.

 

It wasn’t a game. It wasn’t _really_ a game. If Wonshik was doing just that for a specific purpose, Taekwoon could not stand it. He cashed a lot and was trying to shut himself up in a bubble where no one could attack him so he certainly did not want the blond to enter his bubble to destroy it for no apparent reason – no desire.

 

The kiss intensified as the brown got lost in his mind – he lost himself completely in the feel of Wonshik's lips leaning on his own and couldn’t even part with him. He suffocated a few seconds in their exchange and without understanding the youngest slipped his tongue to deepen their exchange. It was hot, but both the rapper's tongue was cold. An electric current seemed to be passing between them as Wonshik's hands came to get lost in Taekwoon's neck, pushing his face and body against him. Totally invading his space.

 

At first it was the tongue of the blonde who caressed - teased - that of the brown, but little by little that the chills were impregnated on their body – in a heat that Taekwoon couldn’t refute – he began to answer and entwine in his turn the tongue of the other makes the kiss more chaotic. Their breathing could be heard in the room, as could the slight noises of rubbing Wonshik's clothing against Taekwoon. The eagerness possessed them. As a vital need they began to kiss more vigorously, the brown letting escape by the barrier of his lips groans uncontrolled that defined his state of mind.

 

Completely clouded by what was happening, he let himself go. Taekwoon couldn’t deny any longer or reject the blonde when he began to kiss him with this kind of totally enticing urgency. So he slipped a hand on his chest and snatched his t-shirt with an appetite. His lips began to move and he answered with all his being. He had no time to lose, because he didn’t want to let go. Say goodbye. So he rushed in – hot flashes taking his skin completely by storm. – He rushed so far that he didn’t notice, that after a few seconds when their breathing was struggling, he had detached - Wonshik having already slipped into the neck of the oldest by sticking his nose against his jugular.

 

\- « It's been so long since I wanted to do that. » Whispers the blonde, his breath tapping against the brown's skin – a thin film of moisture being created.

 

         Not allowed. Totally cloudy with this alien feeling of being in a blur whether it’s physical or sentimental. Taekwoon didn’t know how he was doing to keep on both his legs as he felt like shaking to his very being. More than shaken, he couldn’t think, the thread of his thought had surely stopped a few minutes – how many minutes? – before. Finally, as the silence resumed in the room, he dared to open his eyes.

 

This gesture was like a return to reality. From a world to return to earth or leave fantasies, an imagination overflowing to take a slap at once. A hurricane took his heart at that moment. He pursed his lips, Wonshik's sentence still suspended in the meanders of his reflections. The vocalist did not know how to react so he stood there, waiting for the other to speak, for the other to express things in his place.

 

Wonshik was his screen. _His voice. His words._

 

In the chessboard he will be the one who checkmate, because Taekwoon could never win against his way of externalizing things while he locked himself in a soap bubble, so hard that a hot bath broke it difficulty. Wonshik had that power he did not have. This easy way of living through his way of speaking, while he with the top of his voice he could only reach the song and with difficulty the thoughts of his heart. Fluttering his gaze, he tilted his head for a moment – a vague look around him – and realized that no one had come back yet. He broke that comforting silence, for once he broke something of his words – the quavering voice of little hidden emotions:

 

 

– « Others… ? »

 

 

Lost in his dreams Wonshik had been lulled by the sweet sound of the incessant and chaotic "boum boom" of his elder's heart. It felt so good to feel it so close. To breathe this delicate smell. Gentle citrus scent – yet present acidity – mixed with some kind of woody smell. It reminded the blonde of exits in the forest, the leaves, the branches that break under his feet and the gigantic trees that overlook those who enter their domain. Taekwoon looked like these elements. Its usual coldness, this way of breaking in a raw slam, but also those looks that overhang you when entering his living space.

 

But the warmth of his lips. This haunting heat destroyed everything in a forest. Taekwoon was becoming in those moments a burning sun. A sun that made Wonshik vulnerable, he said to himself – besides being mysterious – the brunette could be more than sexy.

 

He put his mind short when his voice brought him a second time to him – he had already forgotten to answer – then he broke away a little, melting in his nothingness of his pupils to answer:

 

 

– « We don’t care about the others. »

 

The older man seemed to want to protest for a brief moment. In vain. How could he then that his whole body shouted at him for taking and not looking back? How could he repress, censor all those things that had been jostling in him for months, days, years? It was untenable, unthinkable. This time he did not take a single subway ticket to make two stops, he took a plane ticket for a full flight and when his iris slipped on Wonshik's face, he knew he hadn’t to wait anymore.

 

 

And their lips crashed into a common sigh.

 

 

Shiver all over the body, this second kiss was much more feverish – eager. The two men couldn’t control each other. Nothing was perfect in the movement of their tongues – only the impatience to taste their twins. The need to feel was reflected when Wonshik ran a hand under Taekwoon's garment to touch his tense skin. Bewitched by one and the other, the brunette slipped a hand into the blond's hair and pulled them into their fire. He was clinging. Because they surely didn’t need to express the secret things of their feelings - they clung to each other.

 

 

* * *

 

 

         – « Do you think we should ... mh ... say it? » Sighed one of the two men, the heat having taken each part of his body.

 

The other slipped his fingers on the thighs of his elder, pinching his skin with his nails with an excited and serious expression. For a moment he locked his eyes on the lips of the man he was lying in front of him – legs apart with an expression of lust marked on his face. He was so eager to kiss them, to devour them, but above all he wanted to remove his words and replace them with moans.

 

– « I have other concerns in mind to tell the truth ... » He whispered to the oldest coming to pull his hair so that his head is thrown back and his neck is offered to him. « More interesting things. » And he bitten that already offered reddened skin with previous kisses – a small scream coming out of the throat of his prey.

 

– « Hy-Hyuk .. »

 

A slamming door made them jump in their little world. For a few moments it was only silence that invaded the burning room of the two men – they listened to what was happening in the dormitory. Huyk quickly realized that this was the main door of their house – which could have been confusing when their Leader, pissed off, slammed his door shut – and returned directly to his occupation. But Hongbin straightened up on his elbows, his neck on fire, his legs trembling with all the emotions in him. Totally on the watch, he began to look around the room – there was no one there.

 

– « Wonshik-hyung and Taekwoon-hyung are just back. Can we go on? » Hyuk's voice – soft but dangerous with that almost infantile and arrogant impatience – broke him in his thoughts and the older man looked away for the stuck in the bright irises of Maknae. He bit his lip for a moment and stretched out – gracefully – nodding his head positively – not without a smile in a seductive way.

 

The distant sound of the shower made the ears of the youngest boy buzz, and he smiled sensually. This simple fact was that in this way he didn’t need to tell Hongbin to hold back his voice, the shower water would cover all the noises they were going to make. It made him shiver, just imagine.

 

         So he took advantage of it

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ( just because i love Hongbin and Hyuk together krkr love ya )


	6. Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone, I'm really sorry for this delay (exam result etc) but I'm back with this 8)  
> I hope this story doesn't bother you too much! If you have questions, details to tell me or mistakes to correct (my bad English * sobs *) don't hesitate ~ Love ya !
> 
>  
> 
> Disclaimer: sexual content ~

          Wonshik was sitting on the bed. In the center of the room.

 

The seconds, the minutes fell like petals in a flowery hourglass. With Taekwoon he had this vague impression of always spending seasons. Whether in his behavior or just maybe what he felt. The freshness of winter could come when the door would open, or perhaps the heat of summer, the solace of spring or the monotony of autumn.

 

He danced a constant choreography that changed on waves and impulses, but sometimes his boat rolled over and he didn’t understand anything. Often he and the members couldn’t interpret the older man's actions or predict what he might think. A wall was forming - concrete or silver - and in those moments nobody could demolish it.

 

The blonde didn’t know how long he was waiting. He didn’t know what was happening on the other side of the room where Taekwoon had locked himself to take a shower. At first he might have counted the minutes on his fingertips - like a child waiting - but at the end of what seemed like an hour he stopped and stared at the door. Questions began to squirm in his mind, invading him little by little with the fear of losing the thread between him and the brunette. He took his face in the palm of his hands, sighing, his heart quickening.

 

The storm was growing.

Hurricanes came one by one.

 

 

And the vocalist went out.

 

 

The wind stopped,

the tornadoes crashed one by one.

 

          Wonshik slowly withdrew his hands and immediately raised his face to meet the dark - much too dark - look of the vocalist. A shiver began to travel on his skin. He felt a tension he had never known. He couldn’t get away from eye contact by feeling that strange emotion take him full force. Taekwoon had only one towel around his waist and his hair was already almost dry, which made the younger man's lip bite. - how long had they stayed in space? - Plus, the singer stood in a way that made Wonshik swing between something adorable and sexy.

 

He had never seen Taekwoon so wonderful. His irises embraced his form and he was delighted to see him stand in front of him - with that touch of shyness and intimidation.

 

At the moment neither of them had anything to express how they felt. They ate each other's eyes, devouring each other without shame. None dared take the first step. It was so new. The impression of discovering a facet of each, the impression of seeing the moon under a new angle and touching the heat of the sun. It was both scary for both of them reassuring and fascinating. Wonshik - a last look at the beauty of his elder - got up with attention paying attention to neither breaking the mood, nor ruining the magnificence of the moment. A smirk sneaked down the line of his lips as he moved forward - bewitched by Taekwoon's aura. He was losing his mind, the irreducible idea in mind _of making this man what he wanted._

 

The envy that a stream of cry comes out of those lips - damn. Hear the friction of a love that was once uncertain and now totally flowery.

 

Arrived at the brown, the rapper put his hand on the shoulder of the vocalist to slide - with a disconcerting slowness that gave chills to Taekwoon. His fingers traveled on the muscles of his arm to get down on his elbow and come entangled in the fingers of the other. They locked their eyes at the same time, one biting his lip while the youngest just smiled quietly. There was no longer that impatience they had felt earlier in the training room. Only the desire to touch with care, the desire to search and find the other in the meanders - to discover the secrets he was hiding. They knew that they had no time to lose, but also that they had a lifetime to let the seconds flow without doing anything except to sink into temptation.

 

Taekwoon released his look to Wonshik to let his irises crawl all over his pale skin - staring at an apparent collarbone for a moment to take an interest in his neck and the mole he could half glimpse with the dim light of the room. Silence accompanied them without embarrassment. Minutes and seconds passed without any moving. But at the end of this interminable moment the singer came to stick to the body dressed of his companion - a slight pressure being effected between their abdominals and he pronounced - like an alarm; a click - coming to kiss a parcel of shoulder:

 

– « Wonshik-ah ... »

 

At this simple sound - delicious was it - the youngest gripped, with his free hand, the older man's hip to stick a little more to him. He wanted to feel it, because in addition to wanting to discover each fragment of his skin he wanted to taste it, to touch it, to feel it in the depths of his soul.

Now he didn’t want to lose anything or let go.

 

 

To taste, to touch, to feel.

To taste, to touch, to feel.

This music was going through him.

 

 

          Taekwoon's lips didn’t seem to want to stop. Slowly - with thrilling accuracy - he left butterfly kisses on the base of his skin, on the muscle of Wonshik's trapezius, before climbing up the line that ran back to the base of the neck near the ear and chewing the skin. He could feel his own satisfaction in hurting the skin of the youngest of his lippes and teeth. His tender flesh came together perfectly with his bites - which he repeated over and over again, crunching his skin vehemently. Then the little sounds that Wonshik emitted by these actions made the brown particularly proud of him. Then he continued - his own free hand holding the neck of the blonde to push his canines a little, to mark a bit more of a carmine red this whitish sweetness.

 

So in the middle of the room there was only the sound of Taekwoon kisses on Wonshik's neck - hands tied tight under the urge of everyone. This bubble - theirs - was created with every touch, every second, and the blond-brown could feel that they were drowning in their own world of lust. The rapper stood out for a moment, staring at the shining irises of the singer before moving back to the bed - eye contact blocked between them - taking in his wake the particularly obedient body of it. He untangled their fingers to push him against the mattress - letting him collapse between the sheets, his hair scattering in his wake. Taekwoon bit his lip - surprised, but pleasantly - due to the dark and flamboyant eyes of Wonshik.

 

Although the blond was still dressed, the oldest was only covered with this towel that had randomly put on the body of him Wonshik could glimpse some parts of his body. Moles crisscrossing his skin, and the sweetness - the one he imagined - that she must have. He looked at him like that, standing up as Taekwoon grew impatient in silence on the bed, his legs trembling and his fingers searching the sheets. He remained so, biting his cheek because he had never seen anything, so beautiful. The singer's eyes were two diamonds that shone with desire, his orange-colored skin gleaming without shining. Then Taekwoon seemed to take pleasure in miming movements - quietly he pulled the sheets and gave ideas to the rapper. There was nothing so beautiful as this moment. Also sensual.

 

Wonshik traveled on the body of the older man before doing the same on his body, removing each fabric that prevented the brown from reveling. The silent atmosphere - heavy with tension - went to each other. No need to talk more, one because Taekwoon didn’t express things very much and two because Wonshik didn’t have time for that - or his mind had stopped. He unbuttoned the button of his pants, which he slid out of his hips and against his legs to meet the floor with incredible slowness. Then once a simple boxer as a barrier he slipped into the bed, ending up - naturally - between the legs that had just spreaded the older.

 

Taekwoon closed his eyes, that simple contact sent him electric shock - that kind of sensation he had dreamed - imagined - felt. The rapper's fingers rested on the legs - long legs - of the singer before going to his thighs to grab them with desire. The brunette's back began to jab as he bit - striving to bite - his lip completely blistered and swollen. His eyelids were still closed, he lingered on the small emotions that ran through him, because he couldn’t produce constructive thoughts, he focused on small details - like the sound of Wonshik's breathing or the roses who grew in his belly - or butterflies?

 

But he instinctively opened his eyes when he felt one of the blonde's bunches come encircling one of his nipples - his teeth joining them giving a wave of heat in the entire body of Taekwoon.

 

He had never felt that kind of thing. Neither alone. He had never had that pleasure, only shameful dreams that ran through his thoughts at night. Only discreet wishes he kept to himself.

 

Taekwoon never thought that Wonshik could have the same kind of feeling. It was always unthinkable in his mind and even though he did not have the time to ask questions at the moment - because his mouth was moaning softly as he felt the rapper kissing, hugging his chest with his mouth - he told himself that more later he would seek the conversation. There was no room for doubt, for the fear that had been gnawing at him for months, just for tonight he was sinking between these sheets.

 

Or maybe forever.

 

Seeing that the oldest was scattered - totally elsewhere with blushing ears - Wonshik Wonshik decided it was time to take him down to earth by coming to kiss him hungrily. There was no longer that sweetness that before they shared. Just the growing desire, the envy that defied the five senses, the elements. The singer returned directly to him by releasing the laundry to slide his hands into the neck of the rapper - bringing him more against him - their lips moving in a sensual dance, their tongues meeting eagerly for the kiss to become warmer, more addictive.

 

Taekwoon let out an involuntary moan in Wonshik's mouth as he felt his hand move against his member. Sensitive he scratched the neck of the youngest by tightening the thighs. He pulled away from his lips, looking away, murmuring:

 

– «If you...I won’t be able...to restrain myself »

 

It was a warning. _A dangerous warning_ , thought the blond, smiling - satisfied.

 

Wonshik bit his upper lip, squeezing his own urge against Taekwoon's skin. He could see him blush despite the almost total darkness. There was enough to lose the spirit. Everything was slow, everything was calculated, nothing was done at random and the hot air that went between them helped neither the oldest who breathed quickly - jerky - nor the youngest who felt on the brink of sending waltz all morals. He thought he could restrain himself, really, he thought. But how could he do that it was - it seemed - an eternity that he was waiting for this moment with the singer. Currently he imagined already filling Taekwoon.

 

A flash of lightning flashed through Taekwoon's dark, dilated pupils as he stared at the rapper. Something had just changed between them. A few seconds ago there was only the gentleness in their way of acting, caresses - rustling - attentive and now he felt the hand of the blonde tighten his thigh but also his member lean and this growing desire to reach a threshold that he could not decipher. He knew at that moment, himself, that they had waited too long. That they were two souls who had gone out for a while, but were reliving their flames at that moment. Then the brunette moved his fingers against Wonshik's shoulders, opened his thighs slightly, straightening a little to look at the boxer that the blond still kept on him.

 

Wonshik quickly understood and with a clever hand removed the last fabric that prevented them from touching hand-to-hand. They found themselves totally naked in front of one another. Without any net to keep the other from watching. The flames in Wonshik's pupils were moving dangerously, like an omen announcing that tonight they’re both going to catch fire. He returned to stick to the body of the oldest, letting his lips fall on the skin of his collarbones. He marked every little plot that stirred his curiosity. A mole passed under his lips before his tongue slipped on one of the brown’s nipples - a sigh accompanying him. Between them there was as much patience as impatience, which made the situation much more tense and much heavier.

 

The rapper didn’t wait any longer as he bit one of the nipples and slid his fingers against Taekwoon's belly - which curled his back with a light, tempting touch - to land against his belly button, teasing him, rolling his index finger around him before continuing his run and grabbing his right thigh to spread it - leaving him enough space. His mouth went up to kiss the vocalist with envy - the body pressed to him as his hand wrapped around the limb hard and tense.

 

Taekwoon sighed, his eyes closing at the feeling of Wonshik's hand gripping his pleasure.

 

– « Look at me. » The younger sigh put an end to the sweetness of the kiss he had given her.

 

A lip that bites. The discomfort that seemed to have disappeared since they had come back from the training room, came back little by little, tinging the vocalist's cheeks with a bright red. There was nothing more embarrassing than feeling him so close to him. It was unimaginable and maybe way too good to be true. Many questions came to his mind as he turned his face to hide a little more.

 

– « Look at me Taek. » Wonshik insisted - ordered - his fingers getting much stronger on the hardness of the older man's member. He didn’t like to see the brunette hiding in this way, depriving himself of looking at him or locking himself into an embarrassment when there were only two of them in their bubble. Without any reaction, the blonde slipped his thumb on his glans to wake up the five senses of the singer. Indeed Taekwoon opened his eyes - growling with pleasure. Once done, the rapper encircled their eyes for the umpteenth time, biting his cheek.

 

His movements on the sex of the oldest were slow - calculated - sometimes teasing, but nothing got in his way. He could have been a brute, an animal and showed Taekwoon oh how much he wanted it, but in each of his gestures he announced a new proof of how he felt. From that sweet feeling called love, that which they felt for each other, but which seemed to disappear in thousands of synonyms or just in the blindness of one and the other. Tonight, even if inflamed by the urge to be unrestrained, Wonshik definitely wanted to remove the desire to the oldest to go near the river. And if he were to cry, it would be so much pleasure would consume him.

 

But Taekwoon on his side didn’t have the same way of thinking. For two years he had let the candle of a life die out, he had let fate play quietly with feelings that haunted him. Desires, evenings while touching himself under the reveries of a body entwined with his. Of a shared love of his. He was tired of not having what he wants. So as long as he had the opportunity, even if it was only a daydream among so many others, even if tomorrow everything became like an incessant nightmare, he took it. Despite these things, those totally negative thoughts that wanted to take his pleasure away, Taekwoon wanted to take advantage of the rapper's hands against his hardened sex. Enjoy the kisses he scattered against his neck, his collarbones and his lips.

 

And he was moaning, he was exploding. He was blooming in Wonshik's arms. He became an orchid when he felt the slow gestures of the rapper attacking his erection, going back and forth already incessant and incredibly erotic - which made him lose his mind. It became a rose when the youngest returned to kiss him, because he felt their love merge, give themselves to one and the other. Then he felt the blonde's fingers against him, against his body and his intimacy. He felt them penetrate him, one or two, he did not really know. Painful or not, he felt only this thundering desire.

 

Taekwoon, so lost in his world where the feelings were drowning, didn’t even notice that Wonshik took the opportunity to take the lubricant, spread on his fingers to come to prepare, sliding in his body to come and touch each of its hidden parts. Discover his sensitive points and his precious desires.

 

The singer squeaked. His body was already sweating so much, he was hot. He bit his lips, mistreated them, closing his eyes tightly. He didn’t know what to feel between the lips of the youngest who came and went on his chest, his nipples and then his neck, or his fingers that seemed to move in him and nibble a piece of his soul.

 

– « You're so beautiful damn. » whispered Wonshik, kissing him with the most delicacy he possessed, making things a lot less tense, making Taekwoon blush until the birth of his shoulders. The compliment reached him, he began to moan louder his chest rising and trembling legs trying to escape on this surplus of pleasure. The rapper touched his prostate that he had just found, he began to tap weakly on seeing the lush air that shone on the face of his lover. His scissors fingers spread the flesh, _it was so hot_. Too hot. If Wonshik could moan he would, but too focused on what he was doing his mouth only opened to catch the lips of the brown in kisses sometimes sweet, sometimes eager.

 

– « W-Wait » snarled the older one, clenching tightly and his muscles getting hard as he chopped the youngest boy's arm for him to stop - there was so much things happening in him now that he didn’t know what to privilege.

 

– « What? » Wonshik pushed his fingers deeper, punching his prostate again but more forcefully - with more desire - and Taekwoon held back his scream as he put his hand on his mouth, clawing the other's arm with his other hand. « What? Tell me Taekwoonie ~ » The voice sweet and teasing, the look certain and red with flames. Taekwoon didn’t know whether to melt or not.

 

Hot flashes seemed to come crashing down on him, making him pant, his breath almost cut off as his body tended more and more and his hips were looking for Wonshik's fingers for more friction - always more, even more. Then once he felt the youngest playing inside him, stumbling against that burning spot in his body, Taekwoon held nothing and exploded in a faint cry. It's as if we had just let go of him tons of shivers, one by one they attacked him, feet, to the fingers and then in the neck and his sex.

 

Without even being touched or only fingers of Wonshik, _Taekwoon_ _just came._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be back with the rest, hope to see you guys ! thank you so much for your readings and your kudos ~


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